New Year’s resolutions bite the dust in a hurry

Dear Editor:

The New Year is quickly sneaking up on us. What shall we resolve to do?  Do  you remember the  New Years’ resolutions you always made each year? What a joke mine always turned out to be.
I became much wiser when I gathered some years of wisdom. When young, mine went something like this: I resolve to: lose five pounds, eat no sugar, drink no alcohol, join aerobics, save 10% of my salary, blah, blah, blah.

Then on Jan. 2, while I was having some “hair of the dog that bit me” at the New Years’ party, eating chocolate cake to solve the extreme sweet craving drinking massive amounts of beer the night before causes, trying to make it to the bathroom to pee... (I said what about aerobics? Get outta here!)