By the time you read this, the ‘little bastards’ will likely have arrived at my house.
Mr. Webster of the dictionary fortune defines bastard thusly: a person born of parents not married to each other; a child begotten and born out of wedlock; an illegitimate child.
Nowadays, it seems more children are born out of wedlock than in it so the term bastard is used more often to describe someone who cuts you off in traffic or otherwise adds an additional challenge to your day.
In this case, the terminology was not mine but that of a friend speaking of puppies to be born of JJ my purebred, near white Labrador Retriever.
“You can’t let her drop those little bastards outside in this weather,” the friend told me on the phone one night last week as temperatures neared single digits.
Of course, I knew that and had moved JJ inside where it was warm though she is not normally a house dog. At this writing, JJ has lost interest in food and water so birth must be imminent.
The father of these pups is unknown. He may be the black dog I saw slinking around in the yard one night. Whomever he is, he has a grievous injury suffered while getting at JJ through the fence of her kennel.
When I give that account in mixed company, the women all grimace while the men nod knowingly. I wonder why that is?
I do feel some remorse regarding this turn of events and take personal responsibility for it. I wanted to breed JJ and end up with some purebred puppies so I did not have her spayed.
Now I am paying the price.
Dr. Mark Korb warned me that male dogs would go to great lengths to court JJ but I thought that penning her up would do the trick. I was wrong.
Korb related one incident in which a couple locked their chihuahua in the basement when it went into heat. Late one night, they heard shattering glass. A rottweiler had gone through the one window in the basement to get to the young maiden.
Nodding again, aren’t you guys?
With my luck the puppies will arrive on the coldest night of the year and be ugly as sin. But, I will join JJ in nurturing them and find good homes for every last one.
Then, JJ has a date with Korb.
This litter of little bastards will be her last!